Cultures I Hate

Pot Culture
- Pot should be legal. That said, everyone, please, just shut the fuck up about it. You LITTLE FUCKING CHILDREN are ooobbbsessed with pot and the "cool" factor it gives you to other immature assholes. You go online and tell people you're high like everyone is supposed to turn to the person next to them and go "wow that guy is really fucking cool, I bet he isn't a virgin at all." Yeah, yeah, you're the LIFE OF THE PARTY...online....at home....alone. You loser. "Oh hey bros whats your favorite way to toke? Mine happens to be the blahblahblah" it always turns into one giant stoner circle jerk, and I'm tired of it.
Smoke pot like an adult - get home from your job, light up a joint, and watch some cartoons. Just shut your pot stained mouth up about it. Oh and another thing, WE CAN ALL SMELL IT ON YOU.

Feminism
- I support equal rights. Feminists support the idea that women are better than men. Whether or not that is true, I DO know that feminists think that all their inequalities to men are perpetrated by some penis run government. Fight for the right to earn as much as a man. Fight for the right to serve your country. But don't tell me you are "just as strong as a man." Let's put that to the test and watch Bambie together. Hey, hey! No tissues! That's cheating. And you know that only MEN cheat.

"Gamer Gurlz"
- Shut up shut up shut up. Ok it's not fair to single you out, let me start of with this..
Gamers in General.
- Come on dudes. COME THE FUCK ON. There has GOT to be a better way to spend your time, energy, money, and VIRGINITY. Some people are socially awkward and find sanctuary in games because the entire gaming community is just as big an acne ridden nerd as they are, but it's time to grow up. I mean you will never get over your social phobia or whatever excuse you use if you are glued to CoD:Boys Pretending to be in the Army. You people go out in the dead of night to get first dibs on a piece of sidewalk that will later turn into a giant line of fan boys foaming at the mouth for THE SAME GAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I criticize these people not because they are fans of a certain activity, or even that they often times take it too far, but mainly because there hasn't been a good game out since Donkey Kong. All these games are the same! Or at least they all fall into a few archetypes: the FPS that has you as some faceless, jacked up killing machine mowing down nazis/monsters/children, the fantasy RPG that gives you the option to either be an elf, a dwarf, a human, or some kind of Gandolf dude and you mow down nazis/monsters/children, the puzzle game that....oh fuck it, fuck puzzle games, what are we in grade school? Everyone creames their pants when the new shooter comes out for Xbox but it's just like the ones before it, and don't mention graphics to me because A) It does not make a better game, and B) all games have gorgeous graphics nowadays (save for Nintendo) so it doesn't really matter anymore.
That brings me to...
- "Gamer Gurlz," again
This is the opposite of feminism, but still annoying. Here we have a gender that has done away with all preconceived notions of femininity and latched onto their male counterparts TO BE DIFFERENT. Any girl that says she likes gaming cause she enjoys playing video games is a LIAR. If they simply enjoyed it then they wouldn't need to buy shirts that say "Yeah, I'm a girl gamer, so what? My vagina smells and I don't shave my arm pits, what of it?," or announce their gender as soon as they enter gaming forums on the internet, or try and force the fact that they own a Playstation and are "not like other girls" into every facet of conversation. Gaming is a hobby, like any other, and although its demographic is predominantly male it does NOT make YOU, as a "gamer girl," somehow a unique snowflake that we should all stop and examine. Take a shower, put on some makeup, and stop talking to me.

Bro Dudes
- You know the type; Frat bros, dudes with sideways baseball caps and Yankees logos sewn into their $500 jeans, guys who buy Mustangs and only drive it to school, the guy doing the keg stand at the party and showing off his tan. Let me give you a brief synopsis of a bro dudes life from the very moment he is conceived: some rich asshole takes off his condom in the middle of intercourse with a girl whose dignity is deader than her last three fetuses, and a miracle happens - a bro dude is conceived. He becomes the kid in kindergarten that doesn't get along with anyone and knocks over peoples blocks when they are CLEARLY using them and in the middle of something important for fucks sake. In middle school they are the bullies that are slightly bigger than the other kids and use this to give them the shake down for milk money. In high school this graduates to full on assault and eventually being known as the kid that makes sure no one else in his class will ever have an opportunity to learn anything since he will disrupt the lesson everyday and be ejected from the room by a teacher who has yet to get tenure so is unable to berate him like he deserves. Now comes Community College, which is all they can get into, but after a year their rich asshole parents throw some money around and they wind up at RUTGERS. They use their fathers credit card to buy subwoofers for their Mustangs so everyone can wake up and appreciate their shitty taste in club music as they stroll down the street at 3 in the morning with sunglasses on. Fuck. Those. Guys.

Skaters/Xtreme sports
- If I see another homemade skating video on youtube that utilizes a fisheye lens way too much then I am going to nuke the X-Games. What is up with that lens effect? Why is that the go-to add on? Look up a skating video right now. Hell, look up skating PICTURES. They all use that lens. I don't know why but it's really aggravating. I think what makes it anger me so much is that I just hate it when cultures or cliques or groups of people are programmed to only use or be seen with certain things. It's practically a cult. A shitty cult run by 14 year old suburban punks with chain wallets for their weekly allowance that they blow on FISH EYE LENSES for the camera they are borrowing from the high schools morning announcement crew so they can film each others failed attempts at grinding the bike rack outside Burger King like the whole world is calling for a new extreme "sport" blowhard with a shag haircut and chin pubes. And the worst part is that these kids are like this 24/7. If they just wanted to tape each other doing ollies over their pets and then they went about their lives like normal people then who would I be to judge? But they DON'T. The whole culture is about the LOOK more than anything. You need your baggy jeans and your vans and your No Fear tshirts so when you hang out at the mall all the other teenagers know that you are part of the badass group. It affects me because this town I live in used to be a small, beach community with normal kids. When I was in high school there weren't a lot of white kids trying to be gangster or hipster prototypes that start smoking early so they can be seen by the older crowd and hopefully get invited to that college party by the BA undergrad in the tweed blazer that buys Natty Ice for them on weekends. But now when I have the unfortunate pleasure of driving somewhere when school gets out, all I see are little prepubescent kids who are trying so Goddamn hard to be cool they have to adopt this MTV subculture of unwarranted self importance and an affinity for Hot Topic. Stop it. Learn a real skill.

Pseudo-goth kiddies
- One common thread between all these subcultures is that they are comprised of people incapable of thinking for themselves, and pseudo-goth kiddies are no exception. These tweens and teens take the obnoxious, macabre worshiping aspects of goth culture (liking "dark" and "creepy" things, so long as they retain a cute appeal like every Tim Burton film) without going too far into self mutilation (unless wearing Hot Topic counts) and fascination with the occult. These are the girls that wear all black and try to be edgy while retaining an affinity towards cute bunnies. That brings me to something I hate with a fiery passion ... How do you appeal to a pseudo-goth kiddie that enjoys death and curse words but also fluffy animals? You introduce something like a bunny that flips the bird and says something off putting like "I enjoy murdering children, teehee." There is an entire MARKET for cute, fluffy animals that say and/or do horrible things that is consumed primarily by pseudo-goth kiddies who feel these things are relatable because they are an offensive, social outcast in a nonthreatening exterior - much like the pseudo-goth kiddies themselves. People STILL use this device in humor, as if it is new and interesting. When the horrible cave beast in Monty Python and the Holy Grail turned out to be a bunny, it was funny. When it rocketed towards a knights throat and decapitated him, it was funny. When you draw a picture of an adorable little mouse with a twinkle in its eye KILLING A FAMILY OF CATS it is OVERDONE and NOT CREATIVE.