Chelsea Galleries - The Lion, the Witch, and the Headaches

We started with Barthelemy Toguo at the Robert Miller Gallery. It was easily the least impressed I have ever been in my life. One room was sealed off from the others by a thin, hanging veil. Inside the space, the floor was completely covered in cardboard boxes which have been duct taped together. I wasn’t quite sure what the point of this invention was, but seeing as how it failed to correlate to his work I assumed the gallery owners did not want the pristine floors beneath Bart’s paintings to get soiled when viewers (such as myself) eventually become so under whelmed they begin to defecate in their pants. Stacked in one corner were filled laundry bags. Portraits of poorly rendered nuns and priests thinking of hard core sex were hung as if anyone could be proud of completing such a time wasting endeavor.


Next up was Enoc Perez at the Mitchell, Innes & Nash gallery. I actually wasn’t too depressed to arrive at this space. Thick, robust paintings of buildings and landscapes hung triumphantly as if to give a big, writhing middle finger to the sloppy and alienating works that have filled the room before and will probably fill the room after. The application of paint Enoc uses seems almost contradictory of the final result. When you look close, you cannot imagine a person can get such a clear image out of the multitude of colors scraped and cut into the dry surface of the canvas (which will often show through). His use of color was enchanting, and although they are showing landmarks through the colorful lens of a kaleidoscope, I feel like I can fall into their world if I stand too close.


Lastly was Juergen Teller of the Lehmann Maupin Gallery. At first I was confused at the first painting I saw, but optimistic. Could Juergen be an actual, talented painter? Then I realized the hanging frame in front of me contained a reproduction of an old renaissance painting. Damn it, I thought. My annoyance grew when I saw that the majority of his work was two naked women photographed at the Met. I saw no value of any of it, and I still don’t give it any credit as works of art.

Horses, paint, and the meaning of life

I had the opportunity to sit down with Ms. Scott to discuss her art work. Here are some highlights.

Justin : state your name for the record

Kerry: Kerry Marie Scott

Justin : um, now im looking at some of your work here, im seeing a common denominator....let me put this out there, uh, equines. am i at all close?

Kerry : uh huh. i love horses and i always have since i was a little girl. actually um my first pony ride is what sparked both obsessions. like i started horseback riding and when i got back home from the party or whatever the pony ride was at i drew little stick horses.

Justin: did you ever get a hard time about always going back to the same content?

Kerry: yeah. i didnt care.

Justin: once you get outside of the classroom setting its valued to have a calling card, a trade mark, and you know its easy to recognize if you see something like this a couple years down the road i might think "hm i might know that person, i might have done an interview i got an A on in thesis class."

Justin: lets quickly talk about the future. this is your last year, youre a senior, whats next? in your life, the art world, anything?

Kerry: um im not really sure what i want to do after i graduate. i really kind of hate NYC and i didnt plan on becoming a gallery artist when i came in here, but im not sure what else my paintings are good for.

Justin: one last question, and as short as possible, what is art?

Kerry: hm?

Justin: what IS art?

Kerry: (silence) there is your answer.

Justin: silence says it all.

Never Forget! These colors don't run!

I didn't go to the New Museum today. Not only was there a TORNADO WARNING and a MONSOON, but it is also the anniversary of a terrorist attack many of you might recall from a few years ago. I'm not going to lie and tell you I took the day to be with my family and pray for our soldiers or something like that....The truth is I didn't want to deal with the bullshit of every New Yorker (and a shit ton of non New Yorkers) walking around showing their non-forgetfulness in my face and making a trip up there troublesome. Plus the MONSOON. Shit.

I don't know when I'm going to go to the museum. Since I have classes all week and if I don't have my ticket stub for Friday then I might as well not show up, it might serve to go to NY that day and hit up the New Museum and whatever gallery we need for two weeks from now. God I hate galleries. Why can't they ever have a bar in there or something. I'd be a lot more willing to drag myself to NY every week if I was gonna get sloshed while I was taking in some unremarkable artwork.

A Bucket of Blood: A Reaction

I didn't like where it was going for the first 10-15 minutes, but I kind of fell in love with the absurd characters and the story of the bus boy. I took this film as something not really about an artist hitting a wall in his creativity, but rather a loving jab at the art world -- and I love anything that makes fun of the art world. I hate the art world. I KNOW people like that bearded poet guy (except not as badass). I KNOW people like those two beatniks (except less genuine and funny). I find it refreshing that you see a smart but whacky movie that doesn't SERVE the characters it is portraying. The poet isn't portrayed as a classic romantic with important things to say; he is really shown as way too into himself and the center of bizarre affection. The reaction of the community to the bus boys gruesome sculptures did not only drive the plot but also, in my eyes, called attention to some of the ridiculous praise that rather extraordinary work gets.

Alex Bag: A Reaction

I am going to be writing this as I watch it, so it is not a reaction on the entirety on the film (at least it won't be until the end).

First impression: Wow. This is going to be an hour long? Ugh.

4s - Is this a dude in drag?

53s - Is this tongue in cheek? It seems way too satirical to be for real.

1m 21s - Ok when the red head chick cuts out and we see, what I imagine is, Alex in a different costume, I let my eyes wander down to the video's description. So I guess this isn't for real. Thank God.

1m 53s - "Call me" girl is hot. Alex should go blond. Now that I know whats up, I commend the acting. Unfortunately the quality of video and sound is not as great. Wait let me see when this was created....Yeah I bet this was the shit in '95. So it's really no ones fault then that there is so much room tone and ambient noise. It doesn't detract from the video it just makes me use up brain function to contemplate why she couldn't have gotten a shotgun mic or film somewhere that is not next to a busy NY street, like I'm guessing the room she is shooting in at this point is located.

2m 31s - I lol'd

3m 0s - I might have to turn the volume down I don't want my parents thinking I'm watching some kind of fetish porn .

4m 17s - Back to red head valley girl. I was enjoying Call Me girl (maybe too much) so I don't really want to go back to valley head. I think it is partly because Alex plays the part so well. I hate her.

5m 27s - Oh God, what is this

6, 4s - I'm following the work of a young kid on Youtube who acts out soap operas with his pokemon toys on camera. It's hilarious how inappropriate his dialogue becomes and there seems to be a perverse, homosexual undertone (not perverse because it's homosexual, it's just the way it comes up. IE: raping Pikachu) that makes it an interesting collection. It's odd how this kid is, basically, being laughed at on the internet, and Alex Bag is video taping a Stretch Armstrong interact with a mannequin and having her work not only shown to me and demanding my critique but a REQUIRED one at that seeing as how it is a college level class and this is homework.

8m 2s - I don't like this part. It's dumb.

11m 40s - Start of a new character! Good cause valley head is getting boring.

12m 0s - Oh god, this is gonna be slow

13m 0s - I mean, I GET it. It's a take on the pompous artist who makes ridiculous pieces...and I admire that, 'cause those pompous artists piss me off and deserve to be parodied...However, this is still really boring.

17m 20s - Ok at this point (valley head's 4th semester) I'm curious as to what this film is going to offer for the next half hour. I've said it once, I'll say it again: Call Me girl is great. But the rest of this really has me squirming in my chair waiting for the end.

18m 39s - English Punk Girl (EPG for short) is fun. And it made me change my mind about one fing: Alex should go with green hair, not blond.

21m 37s - Hehe, Valley Girl look how you've grown! Well at least she is keeping it fresh.

22m 05s - Oh God she looks like my ex

25m 32s - Where's the venom, Bag? Spit some acid at the art world. It seems like Valley Head is all grown up in the way that everyone wants us to be. I don't want to see this.

26m 26s - Hey, Bjork used to be cute. She kind of looks like Demi Lovato (don't ask how I am aware of this persons existence, I wish I wasn't).

28m 20s - Ok why is Bjork teaching us about how tv's work? I really thought when she said she wanted to see what was inside, she was gonna smash that shit.

28m 50s - Ooooh, ok I see. Bjork is a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist and is warning us about the dangers of tv consumption.

31m 25s - Attention all male sculptors: The bigger your welded shit tower of a sculpture, the smaller your dick. I'm sorry, it's true.

36m 35s - I like how Hello Kitty is just naming random products after 5 or so minutes and they are all products I have or can see Hello Kitty being on. Totally.

40 m 0s - "Artists are boring." Tell me about it.

40m 50s - "The job market is so fucked." Tell me about it.

45m 19s - It feels like this segment with the kid trying to convince the class clown to stop vying for everyone's attention is going to end with them making out (impossible since they are the same actress). I also feel like I'm the curly haired nerd trying to rid the world of one more obnoxious attention whore. Is that weird? No homo.

45m 50s - Bag does a really great job with the transition of freshman to senior in both attitude and aesthetic. Like, I'm sure I've SEEN this chick with the baby doll tee and bob haircut and dark lipstick. (Edit: I HAVE and you so know who you are)

46m 42s - I'm worried. I am starting to agree with every pessimistic, sarcastic, and gloomy view that Bag has as this SVA character that we see at the start of each semester. What makes me nervous is not that I'm pessimistic, sarcastic, or gloomy, but that this whole video is a joke. Am I a joke?

56m 58s - Alright, all done. She ends on a weird note - holding up a flower and crying. But you have to take it for what it is. And what it is, is a commentary.

As a general rule I don't like interpretive art films, especially not ones that go over 10 minutes in length. This isn't 100% an exception, but there are a lot of fun characters and dead on ideas that I can agree with. I think Alex Bag should be in every movie.

Welcome to my blog

I just want to preemptively apologize to anyone I piss off over the course of the semester. But, honestly, you had it coming.